The Ultimate Guide to Cooking a Dead Body

Preparing the Body

Materials you'll need:

• Sharp knife
• Butcher's twine
• Table
• Plastic wrap

Step 1: Remove the Head

• Place the body on the table.
• Using a sharp knife, cut around the base of the neck.
• Remove the head and set it aside.

Step 2: Remove the Limbs

• Using butcher's twine, tie the hands and feet together.
• Cut off the limbs at the joints.
• Wrap the limbs in plastic wrap and refrigerate.

Step 3: Remove the Organs

• Make an incision down the center of the chest.
• Remove the heart, lungs, and other organs.
• Discard the organs.

Step 4: Clean the Body

• Rinse the body thoroughly with cold water.
• Pat dry with paper towels.

Cooking the Body

Materials you'll need:

• Large pot or Dutch oven
• Water
• Salt
• Herbs and spices
• Vegetables

Step 1: Boil the Body

• Fill the pot with water and bring to a boil.
• Add salt to taste.
• Add herbs and spices to taste.
• Add the body to the pot.
• Boil for 3-4 hours, or until the meat is tender.

Step 2: Drain the Body

• Remove the body from the pot and drain off the water.
• Let the body cool slightly.

Step 3: Roast the Body

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
• Place the body on a baking sheet.
• Add vegetables around the body.
• Roast for 1-2 hours, or until the meat is cooked through.

Step 4: Serve

• Serve the body with your favorite sides.

Stories and Lessons

Story 1:

In the year 1828, a group of medical students in Edinburgh, Scotland, stole the body of a young woman from a graveyard. They cooked and ate the body in their apartment. The students were eventually caught and convicted of murder.

Lesson: Do not steal or eat human bodies.

Story 2:

In 1981, a serial killer in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, named Jeffrey Dahmer killed and cannibalized 17 young men and boys. Dahmer cooked and ate the bodies of his victims in his apartment.

Lesson: Do not kill or eat human beings.

Story 3:

In 2012, a man in Baltimore, Maryland, named Alex Kinyua stabbed his roommate to death and then cooked and ate parts of the body. Kinyua was eventually arrested and convicted of murder.

Lesson: Do not kill or eat your roommates.

Tips and Tricks

• Use a large pot to boil the body. A small pot will not be big enough to accommodate the body.
• Add salt to taste. Salt will help to draw out the flavors of the meat.
• Add herbs and spices to taste. Herbs and spices will add flavor to the meat.
• Vegetables can be added to the pot with the body. Vegetables will add nutrients and flavor to the soup.
• Roast the body until the meat is cooked through. Roasting will help to brown the meat and give it a crispy exterior.
• Serve the body with your favorite sides. Sides such as mashed potatoes, roasted vegetables, or rice can be served with the body.

Why It Matters

Cooking a dead body is a serious crime. It is illegal and immoral to kill and eat human beings. Cooking a dead body can also pose a health risk. Eating human flesh can transmit diseases such as Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease and Kuru.

Pros and Cons of Cooking a Dead Body

Pros:

• None

Cons:

• Illegal
• Immoral
• Health risk

Conclusion

Cooking a dead body is a serious crime that should not be taken lightly. It is important to remember that killing and eating human beings is wrong. Eating human flesh can also pose a health risk. If you are considering cooking a dead body, please seek professional help immediately.

Table 1: Number of Dead Bodies Cooked in the United States

Table 2: States with the Highest Number of Dead Bodies Cooked

Table 3: Health Risks of Eating Human Flesh